Saturday, January 19, 2008

A funny thing happened to me on the way to my career...

I had an interesting realization last night (I would have blogged about it then, but I fell asleep :) ). I'm starting my second semester of school. I just had a great first week: interacting in class, pre- and post-class discussions with my classmates, bonding into groups, both formal and informal. And I've just realized that I'm having an experience that I've never has before in all the years of school previously.

I'm popular.

I had no social skills in junior high and high school, and barely any in college. I was simply too shy and self-conscious to interact with any of my peers well, especially girls, especially pretty girls. I avoided, and was avoided in response.

Now, most of my peers are women, and not only do I interact well, I excel at it. It was finally driven home to me at the end of last semester, when one of my classes has a series of goodbyes, each member to each member. Person after person told me that they enjoyed how smart, how educated, how well-traveled, how experienced I was, how they wished they had my experiences. Coming from a background where I had no self confidence, and people avoided me like the plague (when they weren't laughing at my few and feeble attempts at interaction), this simply blew me away.

After one of my classes the other night, I was about ready to leave when a couple of women in my class called me over to ask if I would like to join their study group (required by the class). I smiled and said "Yes." Now, I'm sure this was no big deal to any of them, but for me, it was. It was the first time someone had gone out of their way to invite me to a group. No, not true; in high school, another group of girls did the same thing in Latin class, and I was so shy that I couldn't say anything right at the first meeting of the group. They dis-invited me from future meetings. Obviously, I have no fear of anything like that happening to me now, nor would I feel anything like the devastation that I felt then.

I know people who stay the same from the time they are twelve years old. There's no guarantee that things will be better; I've always been aware of my own failings and attempted to compensate or learn accordingly (instead of making excuses for it, or for the actions of others). In reflection, I've learned and earned every bit of social skill I now possess; it took going back to school to actually see just how much I've grown.

Not everyone can honestly say they are proud of the man or woman they've become. I'm happy to say that I can.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

silly boy, have always been popular to me, cute to. you have so much to offer anyone, laughter, lovin',intelligence, worl experience and a willingness to see the other guys side. i think this is why you will make an awesome counselor. you are already an awesome hubby. :)