2007 Winter Solstice

Last night the four of us celebrated Winter Solstice. We rang in the new year with my Tibetan Buddhist bell, then lighted votive candles in ceremony and spoke out what we were giving up to 2007 and what we were grateful for/looking forward to in 2008. It was a very moving, bonding, experience. I had never felt as close to the three of them as I did at that moment.

Then came the Roman Orgy, followed by a quick outing to Epoch. As I was a dominant since the last Solstice, I played a more interactive role than I did last time. I really enjoyed myself and my family, and look forward to the next Solstice.

Das and I almost ruined it for the other two, when we spent an hour discussing/debating/lecturing with each other about philosophy, religion, and science. It started off with his review of my final Integrative Therapy paper that I wrote for one of my classes (I got an A, by the way :) ), and it just went from there. He and I really enjoy the back and forth of it all, and it can get quite heated and exciting. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect on emmie and mitda; seeing us go at it stresses them out to no end. We ended it when emmie pointed out that it was almost solstice and mitda had taken a walk to calm down.

I loved Solstice and look forward to the next one, but I think Das and I will have to arrange for outings of our own so we can toss concept bombs back and forth freely.

2008 Resolutions

I have been working on a list of 2008 To Do's and Resolutions. I will continue my health and fitness goal of having a washboard stomach by Eeyore's Birthday Party; once I have that, I'll have future health goals planned out. I will also start and finish the first draft of my novel by 2008 year end; my immediate goal of a page a day will accomplish that. As part of my Solstice resolution, I will be letting go of perfectionism. In that vein, I will be working on reducing procrastination in my life. I haven't figured out an objective, measurable goal for it, but I still have a few days to figure it out (gee, I hope I don't wait until the last minute to do it ;) ). Last, I will spend more time with the Family; doing things like IMing and blogging regularly, as well as using the time I save from not procrastinating, will all add up to more interaction.

Supporting the Family

So I went on Monday to the local support group with mitda; Das and emme were asleep, poor guys. mitda was wonderful; she interacted with everyone at the meeting, asking good closed and opens questions to probe, clarify, and illuminate, and offering her perspective when relevant. It was like watching a good counseling session in action. At one point, one of the group commented along the lines of, "You are very knowledgable," or something to that effect.

I chose not to comment when it was my turn; I didn't feel comfortable talking at the time. The purpose of the group is to provide a forum for BPs and Ds; I felt that, no matter how tactful I was, anything I said would be taken as "You BPs make me miserable because....." I'm there to support them, not the other way around.

I wonder how I'll feel in a few years when I'm facilitating group counseling sessions.

My next attempt at blogging

First of all, I suck at journaling / blogging. One of my graduate classes requires blogging in the class chatroom as part of my grade (20%); I'm making a C on that part. That's okay, though, I'm making an A in the rest of the class, and the instructor said that we can make up the current grade by the end of the semester. Yes, I'm both anal-retentive and grade-conscious :)

I'm looking for the kind of sub/slave that is fun, lively, engaging, sexy, sweet, energetic, educated, both athletic and cerebral, and both independant and loves to serve.

Low-maintenance and low-drama are a plus.

In short, I'm looking for someone that I can both put up on and bend over a pedestal ;)

Black Beat

Okay, so I suck at consistent blogging; I'm working on it :)

Last night we went to the GWNN munch / election voting at a local restaurant. I've never seen it so packed; the few non-GWNN people there looked out of place.

I talked with J and friend; always a pleasure, and looking forward to the next conversation. Afterwards the family went to the Black Beat party.

It was our family's first Black Beat party. First off, kudos to Obsidian and namaste' for hosting a great party. The house was both tasteful and professionally laid out, and the combination of the house and hosts created an intimate and inviting space. Looking forward to the next party.

This was the first time I publicly scened with my family. I scened with mitda, while M and emmie scened, then M and mitda scened while emmie and I watched (and zoned). I love watching my family play and get into each other, and I love domming mitda. The only downside was not having a sub of my own. I felt like I was at a party where I was the only single person there; none of your friends ignore you or snub you in any way, but you feel kinda 'left out' all the same.

Interestingly, that night I had a dream that I was in our bedroom with my family , domming a former employee of mine from SF. It felt very right, and the 'left out' feeling that I had fallen asleep with was gone when I woke up.

Our class this week had a visiting psychoanalyst talk to us about her practice; I wonder what she would make of that dream!

New at University

I'm taking this up again. I think I might be more successful this time around. One of my classes this fall requires that I blog on the student class 'blackboard.' I basically blog about what we are doing, and I get a grade for both participation and content. I think that the fact that I'm being made to do so will get me in the writing habit that I seem to find so difficult to maintain.

Right now I'm in the common area of Moody Hall, studying for the pop quiz that I suspect will be coming up today in my other class today. It will be an overview of all the theories of counseling that we will study in depth later in the semester. It shouldn't be too hard.

ArmadilloCon, Day 1

I'm at ArmadilloCon, my 1st SF Literature conference. Not too much going on Friday night; we're in the hotel bar, drinking coffee and blogging. No issues tonight; going to see if one develops over the weekend for me to blog about. Back to my novel (the one I'm writing, not the one I'm reading).

My First Time

Last night the four of us went to a BDSM play party. It was the second for the three of them as a M/s triplet, and the first for me overall. It all went very smoothly; most everyone was friendly, and I got some pointers on using a bullwhip, as well as some basic rope work. I definitely want to get some of both and practice!

Interesting experience in the beginning of the evening. We were all introducing ourselves, and telling about what we like to do in the scene (for those of you who don't know, there is an immense variety of things to be and do that fall under the category of BDSM). Since I was the 2nd person to introduce themselves (well, really the 1st since emmie got stage fright so bad she couldn't talk!), and I was still learning all about the scene and how to articulate it, I just said that I was new and still learning what I liked. Now, that's true to a certain extent, but after hearing what the others had to say over the next 15 minutes, I think that I could have come up with a more accurate answer. If I had gone last, I probably would have said something like this: "I've been in the scene for a few months. I'm a service dom. I like impact play and non-consent play. I'm interested in learning more about rope play and edge play. Basically, I'm willing to try anything."

This brings up the question for the evening. How much of BDSM is innate to your character, and how much is learned?

From my perspective, all the areas of BDSM are learned. Layered into that, your personality and preferences seep into your learnings, guiding your preferences. For example, from my martial arts experience I've been able to dish out as well as receive punishment. The bruises I came home with I bore with pride, because they showed how I endured my own mistakes in order to learn how NOT to get hit, while learning to defeat someone else. The mindset is completely different from receiving impact play. I could easily learn to take a flogging, but I'd much rather give one.

Corollary: Can anyone find something they enjoy in BDSM, or are some people incapable of being anything but vanilla? My perspective: Theoretically, anyone can if they want to, but statistically some people are much less likely to embrace their inner pervert than others.

Please respond, comment, etc.

First Time Post

Welcome, one and all. My goal is simple:

1. to rant, rave, pontificate, and conjecture on anything and everything;
2. to invite discussion, feedback, comments, and verbal dueling in general.

If you are familiar with the Dilbert.com blog, you'll have an idea of what I want to do.

I have work, school, and a very large household that I function in, so I may not be able to blog every day. That being said, I will attempt to respond in a consistent, timely way.

Thanks for participating. Jubal.