1st Day Excitement

It's been a hell of a first day of 2008 for me. I dropped off my oldest son at the Army Recruiter's Station today; they took him to San Antonio for the night, then will bus him off to Ft. Benning, GA, for Basic Training. I could tell he was nervous/stage fright-like when he started trying to engage me in anything that could be a contest that he could win (thumb wrestling; rock-paper-scissors; i-spy; etc.). It is his way of handling anxiety; we laughed about it in the car on the way to Austin.

I don't miss him just yet; it's still too new. I expect to over the next several weeks as household patterns readjust. I still remember when I left for BT in 1988; I was excited to be starting a new adventure in my life, and both he and I are excited for him in the same way.

I spent the rest of the putting away Christmas stuff (tree and accessories) until next year, and organizing the living room and the guest bedroom/server room/playroom where my son was living for the last six months. While Das and Emmie were napping, Mitda and I "broke in" the newly set up room ;) . Due to many reasons, Mitda and I haven't had as much naked time together as we'd like; this bodes well for 2008!

I just finished the 1st page of my novel. My 2008 goal is a page a day; sounds simple, until you try it. Shouldn't be a problem (this time :) ). I'm also posting every day, even if it's just to say nothing.

Looking forward to the new year!

Updates for the New Year

I've made a couple of changes to the site, in honor of the new year:

- Site Name: Fiat Lux: Latin for "Let there be Light"

- Site Picture: an equilateral cross: the vertical bar is a sword, representing power; the horizontal bar is a vajra, representing enlightenment.

Happy New Year!

2007 Winter Solstice

Last night the four of us celebrated Winter Solstice. We rang in the new year with my Tibetan Buddhist bell, then lighted votive candles in ceremony and spoke out what we were giving up to 2007 and what we were grateful for/looking forward to in 2008. It was a very moving, bonding, experience. I had never felt as close to the three of them as I did at that moment.

Then came the Roman Orgy, followed by a quick outing to Epoch. As I was a dominant since the last Solstice, I played a more interactive role than I did last time. I really enjoyed myself and my family, and look forward to the next Solstice.

Das and I almost ruined it for the other two, when we spent an hour discussing/debating/lecturing with each other about philosophy, religion, and science. It started off with his review of my final Integrative Therapy paper that I wrote for one of my classes (I got an A, by the way :) ), and it just went from there. He and I really enjoy the back and forth of it all, and it can get quite heated and exciting. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect on emmie and mitda; seeing us go at it stresses them out to no end. We ended it when emmie pointed out that it was almost solstice and mitda had taken a walk to calm down.

I loved Solstice and look forward to the next one, but I think Das and I will have to arrange for outings of our own so we can toss concept bombs back and forth freely.

2008 Resolutions

I have been working on a list of 2008 To Do's and Resolutions. I will continue my health and fitness goal of having a washboard stomach by Eeyore's Birthday Party; once I have that, I'll have future health goals planned out. I will also start and finish the first draft of my novel by 2008 year end; my immediate goal of a page a day will accomplish that. As part of my Solstice resolution, I will be letting go of perfectionism. In that vein, I will be working on reducing procrastination in my life. I haven't figured out an objective, measurable goal for it, but I still have a few days to figure it out (gee, I hope I don't wait until the last minute to do it ;) ). Last, I will spend more time with the Family; doing things like IMing and blogging regularly, as well as using the time I save from not procrastinating, will all add up to more interaction.

Supporting the Family

So I went on Monday to the local support group with mitda; Das and emme were asleep, poor guys. mitda was wonderful; she interacted with everyone at the meeting, asking good closed and opens questions to probe, clarify, and illuminate, and offering her perspective when relevant. It was like watching a good counseling session in action. At one point, one of the group commented along the lines of, "You are very knowledgable," or something to that effect.

I chose not to comment when it was my turn; I didn't feel comfortable talking at the time. The purpose of the group is to provide a forum for BPs and Ds; I felt that, no matter how tactful I was, anything I said would be taken as "You BPs make me miserable because....." I'm there to support them, not the other way around.

I wonder how I'll feel in a few years when I'm facilitating group counseling sessions.

My next attempt at blogging

First of all, I suck at journaling / blogging. One of my graduate classes requires blogging in the class chatroom as part of my grade (20%); I'm making a C on that part. That's okay, though, I'm making an A in the rest of the class, and the instructor said that we can make up the current grade by the end of the semester. Yes, I'm both anal-retentive and grade-conscious :)

I'm looking for the kind of sub/slave that is fun, lively, engaging, sexy, sweet, energetic, educated, both athletic and cerebral, and both independant and loves to serve.

Low-maintenance and low-drama are a plus.

In short, I'm looking for someone that I can both put up on and bend over a pedestal ;)

Black Beat

Okay, so I suck at consistent blogging; I'm working on it :)

Last night we went to the GWNN munch / election voting at a local restaurant. I've never seen it so packed; the few non-GWNN people there looked out of place.

I talked with J and friend; always a pleasure, and looking forward to the next conversation. Afterwards the family went to the Black Beat party.

It was our family's first Black Beat party. First off, kudos to Obsidian and namaste' for hosting a great party. The house was both tasteful and professionally laid out, and the combination of the house and hosts created an intimate and inviting space. Looking forward to the next party.

This was the first time I publicly scened with my family. I scened with mitda, while M and emmie scened, then M and mitda scened while emmie and I watched (and zoned). I love watching my family play and get into each other, and I love domming mitda. The only downside was not having a sub of my own. I felt like I was at a party where I was the only single person there; none of your friends ignore you or snub you in any way, but you feel kinda 'left out' all the same.

Interestingly, that night I had a dream that I was in our bedroom with my family , domming a former employee of mine from SF. It felt very right, and the 'left out' feeling that I had fallen asleep with was gone when I woke up.

Our class this week had a visiting psychoanalyst talk to us about her practice; I wonder what she would make of that dream!